The Benefits of Installing an Invisible Fence
When we first brought home our dog, Scout, we were nervous about her running away. We decided to purchase an invisible pet fence.
We dug a shallow trench around the perimeter of our yard and installed the wire underground. Scout wore a collar that would give her a little vibration when she approached the fence.
In the beginning, we had red flags marking the perimeter and we trained her with treats. Scout explored, little by little, where her boundaries were and where she was free to roam. It was a process, but she learned quickly.
Eventually, we removed the flags and after a few years, we removed the collar. Scout understood what the expectations were and she, for the most part, abided by those rules.
The invisible pet fence was peace of mind for Scout and for us. The fence ensured that Scout would be safe from passing cars and people walking by. She learned to sit and wait for kids to come into her yard to pet her. And we had peace of mind that we were being responsible pet owners.
Training people to respect our boundaries works the same way. It’s a process.
Our boundary is invisible, so we must clearly communicate our expectations. When we decide to create a boundary, it’s not fair to expect others to read our minds. We communicate our boundary, through words and actions, what we will accept and not accept going forward.
Our boundary will require regular maintenance. The people who are used to getting their way all the time may not take our boundary seriously at first. This may require correction and reinforcement. Sometimes people need a little “zap” to realize we mean business.
Over time, we teach others how we expect to be treated. We train ourselves to stand up for our boundary and we train others to respect our boundary. We remind ourselves why we needed this boundary and why this is a good thing for us in the long run. The disrespectful people in our lives will realize that they will not be able to get their way as they had in the past, so they will move on.
Boundaries are a form of self-care. Just as Scout’s invisible fence kept her safe, our boundaries keep us safe. The boundaries we create protect our time, money, energy, and health. Other people may not understand our reasoning, but their understanding or approval is irrelevant. We install boundaries for ourselves, for our well-being.
Remember, boundary setting is a process. Stick to it and you will be surprised at how much peace of mind you will achieve.
Where do you need to set a boundary today?
For more tips and tricks to Create Healthy Boundaries and Say NO With Confidence, download my free People Pleaser's Toolkit and begin practicing today.