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forest path

What's Around That Bend?

Today is the last day of warm weather in my neck of the woods.  It’s been a great run, but summer is breathing her last gasp before the cold northern winds blow in.

This morning I was diverted from my normal walking path.  I was in my zone when I came upon a blockade of yellow tape.  Crews are doing some maintenance, so I had to choose a different path.

When we are diverted off our normal routine:

We are forced to make choices…Do I turn around and go back the way I came, or do I find a new path?

Our senses become heightened…I never noticed this path before.  I wonder what’s around that bend.

We gain greater awareness…Why haven’t I ever tried this path before?  I think I like this new path better.

This is exactly what happened to me this morning.  This yellow tape blocked my path and forced me to travel a new route.  I took a wooded, winding path dappled with sunlight streaming through golden branches.  I removed my ear buds so I could listen to the birds chirping and the squirrels scurrying through the crisp fallen leaves.

If I had not been diverted from my path, I would have missed this scene:

Our daily lives are full of routine.  We wake up and perform the same tasks.  We eat the same meals for lunch.  And we have scripts in our heads that we’ve recited for years.

“I’m the peacemaker of the family.  It’s my role.”

“I will let others down if I say NO.”

“It’s disrespectful to put myself first.”

One of the most gratifying aspects of being a coach is when I help my clients recognize their scripts.  Once they become aware of their routine thinking, they can choose a new path.

In a recent conversation, Heather was telling me about how she struggles with money.  This struck me as odd because previous conversations led me to believe that she was doing just fine financially.  I challenged her script.

“You’ve mentioned several times that you are struggling with money.  Are you sure that’s true today?  You may have struggled with money in the past, but are you still struggling or is this an old thought pattern?”

Heather cocked her head to the side and thought about it. “Huh.  I pay my credit card bills off every month.  I don’t worry paycheck to paycheck.  Hmmm…” 

Now, Heather is really thinking about her circumstances.  This new awareness is exciting! 

Change is inevitable, but sometimes we need a little push to recognize the change.  It takes a catalyst to force us to see what is right in front of us.  And once we see, we can shift to a new way of being.

Our old scripts may have been helpful in the past, but it’s worth exploring whether they are still serving a productive purpose. 

What old script is stopping you from doing more of what makes YOU happy?

For more tips and tricks to Create Healthy Boundaries and Say NO With Confidence, download my free People Pleaser's Toolkit and begin practicing today.  

If you have questions about how Thoughtfully Selfish Coaching works, visit or if you are ready to talk 1:1 click here to schedule a 30-minute discovery chat with me.