As a recovering people pleaser, it is easy for me to slip back into some bad habits. Sometimes I need to take my own advice.
When I find myself out of alignment, losing control of my resources (time, energy, money), I go back to the process I take my clients through – the Thoughtfully Selfish process.
Step 1: Clarify Your Values and Priorities
What do you value in your relationships? In yourself? What standards are important to you?
I value personal responsibility and continuous growth. I demand that of myself and love to see it in others.
I have a 40-year-old friend who is going to college. She is fulfilling a life-long dream that she denied herself for too long. Our conversations are richer and deeper because she is growing. I am drawn to that kind of energy. Conversely, I know other people who have not read a book since high school. I find talking to them draining because it is a struggle to keep an interesting conversation going. These people aren’t bad, we are just out of alignment. This reminds me that I should spend more time with people who are improving and growing. Those relationships feed my soul.
What are your priorities? Where do you want to spend your resources (time, energy, money)?
I live in a suburb of Buffalo, New York. We must make the most of our summer months. I can catch up on Netflix during the winter. Right now, my time is better spent hiking, kayaking, and attending summer festivals. I don’t have time to sit around right now; the end of summer is closing in. This year, I scheduled a camping trip for every other weekend. And on the off weekends, I am scheduling creek walks and other excursions with friends and family. Anything that does not align with outdoor summer activities is being rescheduled for the winter, or I am just saying NO.
If you are feeling out of alignment, begin with Step 1. It’s time to clarify YOUR values and priorities.
What do you value? What standards are important to you?
What are your priorities? Where do you want to
spend your resources?