What is your Plan?

In my last blog post, I shared how I was losing control of my resources (time, energy, money) and needed a realignment.

I spent some time identifying and reaffirming my values and priorities. There are so many things grasping for our attention; it’s easy to get pulled off our path. The Thoughtfully Selfish process is like a compass. I use it to check my direction and make sure I am still pointed toward MY destination.

Step 1 in the process is: Clarify Your Values and Priorities.

Step 2 is: Create Healthy Boundaries.

In Step 1 you answer the question, “What is important to you?”

Step 2 asks, “What is your plan to achieve Step 1?”

Many years ago, home parties were all the rage. Tupperware, home décor, jewelry, cleaning products, sex toys, you name it! I would receive an invitation to one of these parties every couple of weeks.

I am not a big shopper, and I don’t like clutter. I have just enough of everything I need. While I enjoy seeing my girlfriends, I do not enjoy small talk. I find these types of gatherings tedious and energy draining. But the guilt and fear of missing out would inevitably have me show up at these parties then counting the minutes until I could escape.

Eventually I realized I had to control this situation. I had to identify what was important to me and find a solution.

I would rather spend my evenings reading or playing a game with my husband. I was not enthusiastic about shopping, chit-chatting, and eating salty snacks.

Once my values and priorities were clarified, my next step was figuring out what I was going to do about it. This is the hardest part - deciding that the status quo is no longer acceptable and choosing a different path. Change takes courage.

I needed to Create a Healthy Boundary to protect my time, energy and money. I decided to say NO to all home parties in the future. Simple right?

Just typing this brings back those feelings of guilt, fear of disappointing others, fear of missing out, fear of looking selfish…lots of fear. It’s real. It’s the little voice that talks us out of following through on the changes we want to make. It keeps us comfortable. It keeps us stuck.

This is when we must go back to Step 1 and remind ourselves of what is on the other side of this fear – the things that are important to us – our Values and Priorities.

So now that I have created my healthy boundary - no more home parties – what’s next?

Step 3 in the process is: Communicate With Confidence. We’ll talk about this in my next blog post.

Have you identified your values and priorities? Great!

What is your plan for doing more of what makes you happy?

What do you need to do, or stop doing, so you can focus on your values and priorities?